I had just finished writing the rough draft of what would later become the chapbook In Conversations. I was also in the middle of a school project when it came. At first, it was just a headache and a fleeting sense of emptiness. But it progressed. Minutes later, I was rolling on the floor my hands on my face moaning about the wretchedness of life and how I would never be creative again.
For me, this was business as usual. Many creative writers affirmed they felt this way after a good write period and others revered this down slide. They felt if you did not go down, you would never come up. The problem was, I was genetically prone to suicidal thoughts. My mother, cousin, extended family had this fear and bitter relationship with depression. It was not a good place for me. I had been feeling this way and did nothing but bear it but that day?
I hit twitter. I typed my question and waited: How do you counter this feeling of emptiness and depression after you have worked on a big project?
Replies came. The generic ones and motivating ones. It was a distant friend minutes later that asked You don chop?
I did not like it, but my brain leaped. What did food have to do with this terrible way I was feeling? He replied that I was a creative who was working hard and most probably skipping food times or rushing my food. He felt food could make everything better. It was a taboo to produce anything on an empty stomach, contrary to what popular culture said about starving or fasting. Popular to my own myth about working best on an empty stomach.
I decided to follow his advice. Eat with relish first before work, take a break from work and eat. As the year progressed, I developed a plan and rules to help me. I do not know if depression and diet is scientifically linked, and it might be that there is no link, but I am human and changing my eating habits have helped me fight my moods and depression.
I want to share my personal diet plan in the hope that it might help you create yours. Note that I am Nigerian and the foods you eat should be based on what you have present in your region.
Eat whatever foods you want, making your selection from the staples in general use in the zone in which you live. —Wallace D Wattles
Breakfast: Usually before 11am, light meal of anything I cooked. I have tried and succeeded this past year to rethink my meaning of light meal from processed snacks and a cup of beverage to a plate of cooked food. I do rice or pap and moi-moi if I have time or yam.
Lunch: Usually before 4pm, I just go with the flow at home. Most of the time we have garri and that is what I eat except it is editan soup. (Pass me here o gentle saviour) I eat porridge of anything from yam to potatoes or corn meal.
Dinner: Usually before 8pm if I can help it. (I still need help with this part) I am a fancy eater and I can get choosy with my night food but I try to stay off salty or sugary because it may affect my night work routine.
I am no expert here and can only state what has worked for me. Again, there might be no scientifically proven evidence of how food affects our mood, and I am speaking purely from experience. In the past three years of me trying to balance how I eat and work, there has been remarked difference and improvement in my mental health.
As a creative building my career, I am trying always to outdo my personal boundaries and beliefs and this struggle with food has been won continuously with lots of self-love, patience and positivity.
To better days!
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